Digits and destiny!

Well, as I sit at home scrolling my facebook account what I get to witness is a tremendous storm of updates from University of Delhi. So, the skin burning summer once again welcomes the college cutoffs of the university. As the great Indian DU drama begins, I feel very glad that a year ago I safely landed here. Had I been an applicant now, I would have found myself drunk wandering on streets singing, “I am sentimental but don’t be so judgmental.” With not so good percentage in 12^th board I wouldn’t have managed to even get DSC now.

Since I am a Delhi University student, I receive texts from my juniors inquiring about various colleges. Few of them happen to miss that target of 95% and therefore my reply to their texts is quite monotonous i.e. “close your eyes and remember the creator. He is your only savior.” St. Stephen’s college setting their bar at 98% for English makes me wonder that such high cutoffs can only give heart attacks to aspirants and not admission. A friend of mine said to me, “these cutoffs higher than Burj Khalifa are announced. Then there are few colleges’ cutoffs higher than SRCC for B.Com (hons.) just to invite endless trolls on them.” It looks like these colleges are competing with each other and ending up crushing the dreams of numerous students. As a therapy to these heartbreaks I get to see few links reading ‘5 ways to deal with horrific DU cutoffs’. Indeed a good way to sympathise.

One thing I have been dying to ask people that why are these numbers, you get as your score, the decision makers of your future? I personally find it a bit unjust. It is very difficult for me to digest the fact that these marks will get you a publicly renowned college which in turn will decide whether you’ll have a secure future or not. In fact, the university wants 100% marks to give admission but do not provide 100% placement for a secure future. So my dear DU aspirants if you do not manage to get into the university, life doesn’t end here. Believe in yourself, you have immense potential and therefore it is not necessary to get a DU tag for a secure future. Therefore, do not let these digits be your destiny.

P.S. - I am not offended with so high cutoffs, I’m just being a little satirical.

Few words exchanged...

Few days back I got to meet an old friend in a cafe. He offered me coffee and I agreed. Very soon we got engaged in a conversation. We were school friends and hence the best topic to discuss was our school. Soon the atmosphere turned nostalgic, recalling the gone golden days. Sometimes meeting an old friend and walking down the memory lane makes you immensely happy. We both realized that things have changed and we too. We were no more those stupid kids we used to be in school.

‘So what are you up with these days?’ he asked taking a sip of coffee.

‘Umm… nothing much just enjoying college vacations. That’s it.’ I replied.

‘I got to see your writings. Good going.’

‘Well, thank you so much. It’s just few things strike my mind and I pen them down.’

‘Is it so? I got to read few of your romantic poems. It seemed as if it was written with a heart full of love for someone. So my dear friend, are you in love?’ he said with a smile.

I laughed and said, ‘No. You got it wrong.’

‘So, is it that you pretend to be in love?’

‘It is just that I pretend to be a writer.’ I replied smiling.

‘Well, I got my answer to why people say a writer resides many personalities. Your words help you to make that pretense.’ He said laughing.

‘Probably!’ I shrugged my shoulders and saw my watch. I was already late.Hence, we drew our conversation a close with a smile and parted our ways.

A promise of betrayal!

The clock struck twelve midnight. ‘Love’ she scribbled on the paper. Suddenly the ink smudged, distorting the word, her tears were the reason. Her blood colored the paper red. She broke her coffee mug and its pieces pierced her hand causing profuse bleeding. It was unclear, was it the pain caused by the pieces of broken mug or was it the pain of her shattered heart that made her cry?

“Everyday is the same story,

Monotonous life with no charm and glory.”

She wrote. A melancholy life she was living. For the last one week she had not stepped out of her flat. She got up looking for her phone. It was lying on the floor with the pieces of the broken mug. Picking it up she checked it, 89 missed calls and 105 messages. She checked all of them… each of her friends tried to contact her. Her eyes were anxious to see his message. But she received neither a message nor a call from him. She smiled with tears in her eyes and went back to resume what she was writing.

“People say, life is easy to relate.

But I hardly have a reason to elate.

Trust no word now, I’m left to stray.

Why am I living when it’s just betray, betray and betray!”

These words came straight from her heart filled with pain and agony. She had loved him beyond infinity and more than anyone else in the world. In fact, he was her world. That love once made her life beautiful now ruined it. That love once was a reason for her smiles now left her with tears. Her heart which once belonged to him was now craving for him giving her endless pain.

“It’s dark now, my heart says as you were my life’s light.

You took away my strength, this pain I can no more fight.”

With each word, she shed a teardrop. She was questioning herself, why she trusted him? She remember once he said to her holding hands, ‘love, I would never leave you alone. I promise.’ He broke his promise; he broke her dreams as well, she dreamt of togetherness. A single word was revolving in her mind that was ‘betrayal’.

“Your betraying me is my life’s biggest disaster.

My heart is gone with you, hence I’m dying faster.”

Suddenly a scene was projected in front of her eyes, a scene of a car accident. A week ago, on his way to the office his car was terribly smashed by a truck. He died on the spot. The last word which he uttered was her name and with which he exhaled his last breathe. She was not ready to accept the truth, the truth of his death, the truth that he left her alone.

“Leaving me alone, you chose to die.

Promise of togetherness was nothing but a lie.

Are these my tears or has it just rained?

Leaving me burning in agony, what have you gained?”

She was traumatized by his death. She wanted to end her life but she chose to live with eternal pain calling his death betrayal. 

95 minutes

She was lying on the bed, continously staring at the ceilling.
She often found herself tangled in her own thoughts.
It was the 12th time the music system was playing that instrumental.
It was one of her favourites but she was so lost that she hardly paid  attention to the music.
Lost in her own thoughts, imagining a world where she was the queen.
A happy world where she could be what she wants to be. She smiled thinking about it.
Her smile suddenly shrinked and a teardrop fell from her eye.
95 minutes ago she received a phone call.
'Pack your stuff, tomorrow morning you are leaving for your studies.' A voice came.
'Dad you know I want to dance.'
'We have talked about it. No more arguements.'
'But I have dreams..' She said in a trembling voice.
'Your dreams are not above my will.'
A dream crushed and its pieces made her heart bleed.
Those wings art gave her were burnt to ashes.
She was drowning, but no hand came to her rescue.
She looked at the fan on the ceiling, imagining herself hanging from it with a smile.
That smile reflecting her peaceful goodbye to the world she never belonged to.
She belonged to her own world where she was free to dream.
It took that gentleman 95 minutes to suffocate her and take away her breathe...